No Calls

Source: Google

It was a so-so evening when my phone rang, a call from unknown number. I was in my room, browsing random stuffs on my notebook. I picked it up. I heard a lady voice ensuring that she called a right number. Then, I had a quite quick chit-chat with her before she hung up. Actually, I could say that it  was a happy call (not that famous happy call pan, of course). She told me that there’s a manager in her company want to do a phone interview with me.

So, yes, I was very-wery-berry happy at that time. She told me the date and the exact time when the manager would call. I memorized it and waited for that day to come. Excitement.

***

It was an exciting afternoon (for me). I sit at a caffe with my notebook and my phone beside me. It was the D-Day, I was waiting for the call. I was fully prepared, even prepared the answers for any possible questions she might ask and typed it on my notebook. Every few minutes, I glanced to my phone, worried that I might miss the phone call. Still, excitement.

One minute... five minutes... fifteen minutes... one hour... one hour and fifteen minutes had passed, but the awaited call was not yet come. The excitement was decreasing and dissapointment went up. I was tired waiting. I sent text to the lady who called me before. No response. I became more and more tired waiting. I shut my notebook down and left from the chair I had sat on for several hours. Upset.

***

The following day, I tried to call that lady. Again and again. In the morning, in the evening, in the afternoon, but still, no answer. I started not to care anymore about this stuff. Last thing I did before officially stop trying was sending text to her. I did not expect her to reply my message, I just wanted to deliver my question and feelings via sentences and hoped -–at least—it would be read.

Surprisingly, she replied my text. As soon as I received the message, little by little, my hopes grew back. She said that Mrs. Manager actually had called me but could not reach me (which is hard for me to believe since I still clearly remembered that I never left my phone on that day, I brought it along by my side all day long; fully charged). Whatever, I still believed it though. The next sentences brought even more hopes. She said the manager would like to call again within two days. Happy? Yes I was. For the second time, my hopes grew.

***

On the second D-Day, for the second time, I opened my prepared answers’ document on my notebook. I charged my phoned, checked it and made sure that it could receive good signal. I even brought it to the bath room. Weird? Yes I know it, but I just did not want to miss the opportunity, because I thought she might call me anytime so I had to be in stand-by mode. Again, I went to some quiet place and waited a phone call there. I opened my notebook and and read my prepared answers. My phone was right beside the notebook. I looked at the bottom right corner of my notebook, still 30 minutes before 1 o’clock, the time when she said the phone interview would start at.

Suddenly, my phone rang. But not a incoming call ringtone sound that I heard, just a short beep-beep alert indicating that I had a new short message. Yes, it was from that lady again. Do you want to know what the message contained? Yes, you got it right. She said that the Mrs. Manager could not call me on that time, so she told me that I did not have to wait for the call. I could feel that my hopes flew away right away. This is the true definition of broken heart. For the second time, upset and dissapointment.

***

Of course I was not just frozen and did nothing. I text her back, asking about the possibility I might get, asking for the possible time when I can have a phone interview. But, yeah, on this time, she did not reply my text. Not even until I write down this story.

I was losing much of my hopes, I was tired trying.

But I know that I got something precious to learn. No matter how many times you tried, if it is not meant to be, then it wont. But you know that you cannot lose hope, for all of our fortune, luck, destiny and so on are all in God’s will and you know that everything could happen. So just never lose hope. If you think you have done enough trying but it still does not work as your wish, then pray, and never stop trying. What I mean by trying is not only doing same things as what you have been doing, but also try to do something else, search options, that hopefully might works.

Maybe sometimes, stop hoping is the new way of hoping. I don’t say that I have to stop hoping. What I mean is just stop hoping for some things and start finding and hoping on some more possible things.

So, I think I will follow your words, lady. I won’t wait anymore for the call. I won’t let my self dissolve in disappointment for too long. I choose to start building hope on something else. Thank you.***Annisa Sudibyo



p.s.: The story somehow might be influenced by the "Life of Pi" movie since I have just watched it this night.